You can change your life and Mel Robbins will show you how. 

Mel is in a category all her own. As one of the most widely booked and followed podcast hosts and authors in the world, she’s sought after by the world’s leading brands and medical professionals for her research-backed tools and motivation. And, at the same time, Mel has amassed millions of followers online, with her advice going viral online almost daily.

Her female-led media company produces provocative, life-changing content, with millions of books sold, billions of video views, six #1 audiobooks, and the #1 podcast on Audible. Her work has been translated into 41 languages and has changed the lives of millions of people worldwide. 

And despite all that, Mel is one of the most down to earth and relatable people you’ll ever know. 

Probably because she learned everything she teaches the hard way: by first screwing up her own life, and out of necessity, discovering the tools and research that transformed her life and got her to where she is today.

In the Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel gets more personal than ever, welcoming you into her life and taking you behind the scenes in real time. Every episode is packed with deeply relatable topics, tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.

Tune in and buckle up – your life is about to change. New episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast drop every Monday and Thursday.

To learn more about Mel, go deeper into every episode, find the resources and research she mentions, or submit a topic or question, check out www.melrobbins.com

The Mel Robbins Podcast

In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult.
 
I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing. 
 
She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist.
 
Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood.
 
This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me.
 
It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past.
 
I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me.
 
And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either.
 
Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult.
 
The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do.
 
This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here.
 
I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids.
 
And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults.
 
Xo Mel 
 
PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey.
 
Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper.
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:


3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.
8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?
9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.
11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”
15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.
17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?
24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.
28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?
35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?
37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?
44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 
48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.
53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this.
 

Disclaimer
 
If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

Why Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera

In this episode, I’m making the topic of trauma easier to understand by taking you step by step through my recent revelation that I was struggling with past trauma.
 
I was one of those people who thought I didn’t have trauma. And you may be like that too.
 
But if you have trouble managing emotions, expressing your feelings, dealing with upset, you go on edge easily, you have trouble focusing, or you struggle with anything like anxiety….
 
This will be very eye opening.
 
The words “trauma” and “nervous system” are thrown around like candy online.
 
I want to share the profound things that I’ve learned about both topics and how I’ve started to address and heal the trauma in my nervous system.
 
This episode is personal, it’s important, and tactical, and most of all – it’s packed with tools you can start using right now.
 
I hope this episode opens your eyes in the way that it did mine, and makes you not only understand this topic – but yourself a little bit better.
 
And, to go deeper, I have a free 9-page workbook for you that serves as a companion to this episode to help you with your own healing.
 
Just click here to access it. 
 
And, this episode covers sensitive material, including discussion of trauma and sexual assault. If this topic isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode.
 
Xo Mel 
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:


0:58: This episode is one of the most important I’ve ever created because of the powerful impact these learnings have had on my life. It will be the same for you.
7:40: What is trauma anyway?
8:40: Do you recognize yourself in these signs of past trauma?
10:00: Getting honest: my personal story.
21:15: What happens to me when I hear the sound of crunchy snow (and how this applies to you).
24:00: Do you have to remember trauma to heal from it?
30:30: If I have little-T trauma, does that mean my parents are to blame?
34:40: This is what your nervous system is (and it’s not what I used to think).
43:15: Here’s why your triggers were helpful then and why they’re not now.
50:00: How can you get yourself out of survival mode and start to focus again?
54:00: The difference between your two nervous systems.
56:30: Six takeaways to help you switch from fight or flight to rest and recovery
 
Disclaimer
 
If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you.
 
The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.”
 
The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment.
 
Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method.
 
By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset.
 
This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset.
 
I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who matter to you most.
 
Xo Mel
 
For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.
 
This episode, you’ll learn:
4:15: What does “mindset” even mean?
9:00: The truth about why mindset matters.
10:00: Is this just toxic positivity?
16:30: Your brain has a filter. And if you’re not programming it, it’s probably working against you.
26:00: How to beat self-doubt.
31:00: Why you’re not meeting that special someone.
37:00: The fun and simple brain game I play with my daughters. 
47:45: What to do when your thoughts and mindset spiral into the negative.
55:00: I want this for you.
 
 
 

Disclaimer

Mindset Reset Toolkit: How to Make Your Mind to Work for You (Using Simple Neuroscience)

In this episode, you’re about to learn how to make your new habits stick.
 
If you’ve struggled to be consistent with behavior change, you’re not alone. It’s easy to talk about habits. It’s a whole different thing to apply the science to your life.
 
You are not the problem.
 
The problem, when it comes to habits, is the lack of systems and hacks that help you stay consistent.
 
There are 5 very specific, simple systems backed by science that you have to have in place if you want to make your new habits stick for good.
 
It doesn’t matter if you’ve already bailed on your New Year’s resolutions or if the only habit you think you’re successful at is failing at habits. I’ve got you.
 
If your treadmill just became the most expensive laundry hanger you’ve ever purchased, then this episode is for you.
 
I’ll say it again: 
 
It’s not you; it’s your lack of systems.
 
Stop relying on willpower to get you through.
 
That’s not what you need. The research says you need systems.
 
Today, I’ll teach you 5 essential ones.
 
Let’s go, because your behavior toolkit masterclass series continues.
 
Xo Mel 
 
For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.
 
For a free workbook that dives deeper into the topic of habits and helps you apply what you learn, click here.
 
This episode works together with the episode “The Ultimate Toolkit for Creating New Habits.” After you finish this one, check out that episode here.
 
This episode, you’ll learn:
1:36: Why it’s important to understand how to make habits stick
4:50: The 75-day challenge I’ve taken on this year 
9:30: The honest conversation you need to have with yourself before any change
13:35: What to do if you don’t even know where to start with habits
15:55: The five systems that will help you finally stick to your habits
24:00: A simple hack from Harvard Business School to help you make better decisions
28:25: The simple trick that helped people be twice as successful at quitting smoking
32:40: The M&M experiment that proves decision fatigue is a real thing
38:24: Why tracking your progress is non-negotiable 
49:30: The plan that will save your promises to yourself
51:35: The “keys to the kingdom” – establish this habit and others will follow more easily
 
 

 

Disclaimer

5 Essential Hacks I’m Using to Make New Habits Stick

In this episode, you’re going to learn exactly what you need to form new habits.
 
Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about habits, you probably still struggle to apply this knowledge and make change stick.
 
And if this topic is brand new to you, don’t worry; I have a way of explaining it that’s fun, and so simple even a 5-month-old puppy can understand it.
 
Just because it’s science doesn’t mean it has to be complicated and boring.
 
When we make change fun and easy to understand, you’re more likely to be successful in applying all of this research.
 
That’s why this episode also comes with a free companion workbook, so that you not only listen and learn, but also go deeper and apply what you’re learning to your own life.
 
You can download that for free at melrobbins.com/habits.
 
I’ll teach you the three critical parts of forming new habits, and together we’ll unpack the brain research that explains why these parts are essential to your habit-making routine.
 
When you’re done listening, you’re going to see that you’re making the same mistake most people make: you’re only focused on one part of forming a habit, and you’re missing the other two.
 
I’m really excited for you to listen, learn, and apply all this knowledge.
 
New habits begin as something you practice, and after applying this over time, they become who you are.
 
Xo Mel 
 
Get your free companion download at melrobbins.com/habits.
 
For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.
 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
8:00: Why willpower doesn’t work
11:15: Why we struggle with new habits
12:30: What actually is a habit?
15:15: The free gift I have for you
15:50: Why are habits important?
19:50: What the research says about successful people
25:10: What’s getting in the way of your new habits
25:50: Three critical parts to all new habits must have
27:40: Two ways Chris and I set ourselves up to succeed with our habits
32:45: Six types of behavior triggers 
38:50 What to do if you want to stop that nightly glass of wine
 

 

Disclaimer

The Ultimate Toolkit for Creating New Habits: The Science Made Easy

This is the pep talk you need.



Change is hard.



Which means you’re going to want to quit or give up.



I call those moments F*** It Moments.



Today’s episode is a little different because you’re going to hear me get in someone’s face who is about to throw in the towel on a big goal and a promise that she has made.



When you hear me coach her, it will be like I’m coaching you.



And once you’re done listening, I promise you won’t be saying F*** it, you’ll be saying F*** yes.



Xo Mel 



PS: If you’re frustrated with somebody in your life who keeps calling it quits, let me do the honors and deliver the ass-kicking for you.



For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.



In this episode, you’ll learn:



2:55: Why I started to cry when it came time to record this episode
6:22: The one stupid thing that sent me spiraling into anxiety
10:40: What Chris told me when I was ready to quit that made all the difference
11:55: What I especially want you to know about you and these F-It moments
12:50: Listen in as I coach a woman through her own F** It moment
32:15: What triggers most addictive behaviors
35:40: What’s REALLY a F*** It moment?
37:55: Why F-It moments are actually good
38:35: How to process your F*** It moment
40:05: One thing I want you to hear loud and clear about screwing up





Disclaimer

Feel like giving up? Before you say F*** It, listen to this.

This episode will help you set the right goals for you.
 
Goals matter. They make your life easier and they create a sense of purpose and meaning.
 
But most people don’t set goals the right way, which is why they fail before they even start.
 
That’s not going to be you.
 
This episode is a comprehensive toolkit that will help you set the goals that inspire you and make you feel excited about the year ahead. 
 
And, it’s part of our month-long series covering the foundational research and topics related to creating a better life.
 
Today, you’re not only going to learn the correct way to set goals according to research, you’re also going to identify 1-3 goals for yourself, and I’ll be doing the same thing right along with you. 
 
Have no idea what your goals are or where to even start?
 
Don’t worry; you will by the end of the episode.
 
You’ll apply the latest research every single step of the way. 
 
And that’s not all. 
 
You can access a free companion workbook at melrobbins.com/goals that will walk you through everything we’re talking about so you can go even deeper into this conversation.
 
Expect your goals to change as you listen to this episode, so don’t worry about doing any of this “right.” 
 
By the end of this episode you will have even taken the first steps toward your goal. 
 
How cool is that? I can’t wait. Let’s get started.
 
Xo Mel
 
For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast.
 
For a free worksheet that dives deeper into the episode and helps you apply what you learn, click here.
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
1:15: How do I set goals the right way?
2:56: Why setting goals is so important: the truth from research
8:24: The exciting new research about goals from Dr. Birkman that you need to know
10:56: My three goals for 2023
13:05: I’m answering your top question about goals
13:27: Four science-backed hacks to use when you’re not sure what your goals are
16:20: Three qualities of the best goals
21:48: Two components of a goal that you’ve got to have in order to achieve it 
27:07: What neuroscience says about why your brain needs these two components
31:25: The five mistakes we all make when we set and try to achieve goals
42:41: A powerful question about goals from Columbia University researchers that you should ask yourself
44:57: Why setting a “high-low range goal” will make you more successful
50:33: The most important thing you should do once you set a goal
53:06: Here’s the crazy irony about achieving your goals
 
Disclaimer

Goal Setting Toolkit: Why Behavior Change Often Fails & How to Set the Right Goals for You

I want this year to be the best year of your life. 

So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life. 

And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself. 

We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW. 

Until now.

In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine. 

I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life. 

And bring your Kleenex.

Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him. 

The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting.

It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his life where the shame and sense of failure were so palpable that he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror. I’m so proud of him, and moved by his vulnerability.

This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; the men in your life are struggling, too. That’s why we all need to be practicing this habit every single morning. 

You’re going to learn that love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. And that’s what I’m going to teach you to do. 

You’ll want to listen until the very end, because you’ll meet a woman whose entire life trajectory changed by simply trying this habit once.

Want to learn more? All of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel.

Xo Mel


In this episode, you’ll learn:

1:50  The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people
3:50 HOW do I love myself?
4:28 Why it’s so hard to love yourself
5:11 The secret to self-love
6:04 What the science says about why you should do this after brushing your teeth
7:05 50% of people find it impossible to do this
9:30 Learn about neurobics and how it helps you learn a new habit faster.
12:22 The dopamine hit that boosts your mood
14:09 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit
15:25 One study about how this habit creates winning teams
16:40 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer
20:48 Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first
22:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge
25:19 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life
25:55 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure
34:00 What all men struggle with
36:39 What Chris has to say to all the men out there
40:20 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do
45:00 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear


For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast
To take the High 5 Challenge, go to High5Challenge.com.
Get The High 5 Habit book or eBook.

The One Science-Backed Habit You Need in 2023

In this episode, I am sharing 8 brand new studies and exciting new research about simple changes supported by science that can help you improve your day to day life, like…


How to cut your gym time IN HALF and still get the same benefits. 


The surprising sound researchers say will boost your mood for EIGHT hours. 


The research on how mindfulness reduces your anxiety by 30% -  the same as Lexapro.


And so much more


I’m also joined by Tracey, who leads our research and has helped me produce five #1 Audible Originals and all the science behind it. 


She’s found the studies; we are breaking them down together, and having a ball as we do. 


This episode is going to make you smarter and is packed with the tactical, simple, and science-backed tools that I know you love learning on this podcast. 


Pull up a seat and let’s go.


Oh! And one more thing. As always, all of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel.


Xo Mel 



In this episode, you’ll learn:

0:13: Why the research studies and science you will learn today matter
4:35: Why you can trust the tools you learn on this podcast
5:56: Research study #1: A simple action that goes a long way
12:32: Research study #2: The way to build strength in just 3 seconds a day
19:25: Research study #3: The one sound that boosts your mood for hours 
26:43: Research study #4: A powerful tool for anxiety
31:35: Research study #5: What a study with 20,000 high schoolers tells us about success
36:56: Research study #6: One thing you can do to create lifelong positive memories
44:43: Research study #7: How tiny guilty pleasures can strengthen your relationship with your partner
52:01: Research study #8: The habit with the largest impact on your quality of life


For full show notes, including a links to every single study and citation mentioned on today’s episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

Brand New Research: 8 Simple & Surprising Changes That Improve Your Life

Have you ever had one of those years where life seems to punch you in the face?
 
Where one thing after another knocks you down, over and over, until you start to feel like you are never getting back up.
 
Well, that was this past year for me.
 
People I trusted betrayed me. Plus, I was living 150 miles away from my husband and son, alone in Boston during the week for work. I never saw my friends because I was too busy working. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking care of myself in general. Honestly, I felt really lonely all the time.
 
And looking back at pictures of myself from that time, it’s easy to see all of that in my face.
 
I think we all know that the greatest lessons in life come from the most challenging things that you face. And while it’s true, it’s not easy when you are in the middle of it.
 
This past year taught me 3 invaluable lessons, and today I’m sharing them with you. 
 
I know you’re going to nod along because you know these lessons are true.
 
I don’t know why they are so damn hard to learn, but my hope is that by sharing what I struggled through and what I learned from, it will save you the headache and heartache that this year put me through.
 
Xo Mel 
 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
 
0:24: The gory details from the hardest year of my life
7:02: Lesson #1 from this year
8:30: The journal prompt that gave me a wake up call
11:43: How to identify the friction in your life and a major warning if you don’t pay attention
15:21: Lesson #2 from this year
16:55: How this podcast almost never came to be
22:36: The epiphany our son Oakley had
27:04: If you’re tired of your excuses… try THIS
28:49: Lesson #3 from this year
32:31: The mental health crisis I experienced this year and what it taught me
 
For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

3 Lessons From One of the Hardest Years of My Life

I’ve got a very special invitation for you today.
 
Grab a spot on the couch next to me and my family here in Southern Vermont. 
 
Join our family as our three kids discuss all the parenting mistakes Chris and I made – and the things we did that built trust and brought us all closer.
 
I’m really excited and proud to share this with you, even though there are moments where my kids absolutely school me.
 
They also share wisdom and insights that are so profound, you’ll hear Chris break down and cry.
 
This really isn’t a conversation about parenting at all. It’s about how you create a close and meaningful connection with anyone.
 
So whether you’re wondering how to get closer to your family or your friends, everything we discuss applies to all relationships.
 
This episode goes deep – we cover drinking, drugs, addiction, and what to do when teenagers stop talking to you or someone you love is dating someone that you don’t like.
 
And, since so many of you have written in asking about my approach to parenting after hearing our kids on various episodes of this podcast, I’m also sharing our parenting philosophy.
 
My family is getting real and raw in this discussion, and we’re inviting you to be a part. So join us. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode, and one thing you might want to consider is listening to it with your family. I guarantee you, it will spark very interesting discussions.
 
Xo Mel 
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 
0:32: Why I recorded today’s episode
3:25: Meet the Robbins family
6:02: You keep asking: How are my kids so open with me?
7:30: A frank discussion on drinking
12:33: Why people don’t listen to you
14:10: What Chris and I think the whole point of parenting really is
18:27: Let’s talk about addiction, including groundbreaking new research from Mt. Sinai
25:15: Our #1 piece of advice that will keep people honest with you
30:55: What we mean when we say people in your life are “lie detectors”
33:07: Why showing your feelings to loved ones is so powerful
36:58: How to build connection with anyone
40:52: When you keep repeating patterns you wish you could break
44:44: Why you need to let kids be themselves
50:52: Why you shouldn’t let people bounce from uncomfortable situations
52:39: “I don’t like who my kid is dating” – advice that applies for any relationship
1:01:52: Our #1 piece of advice for you
 
For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

A Toolkit for Families: Practical Wisdom That Makes You Closer to the People You Love

I know you’re busy. Which is why today’s message is the one thing you need to hear right now.
 
I need this message too. We all do.
 
Because there’s only one thing I want you to do this week:
 
NOTHING.
 
That’s right. I want you to do absolutely nothing.
 
No, I’m not smoking anything funny when I say this. I’m dead serious.
 
Hear me out.
 
There is an art and a science to doing nothing, and we need to put it into our daily lives.
 
All this constant doing is impacting your energy, your drive, your stamina, and your ability to be present, which in turn affects the decisions you make and your relationships.
 
Look at it this way. What are you doing right now?
 
Because I bet you’re scrolling through podcast episodes to listen to as you jump on your Peloton, drive to work, fold laundry, organize your desk, or whatever it is you do when you multitask.
 
You and I live in a world that glorifies productivity and accomplishment. The busier we are, the more important we must be.
 
But all that busyness is not making you happier or healthier. In fact, you’re writing to me every day asking how to deal with burnout and overwhelm.
 
And look, I’m not exactly an expert. I struggle with this too, which is why I wanted to talk about it.
 
I can’t even take a freakin’ bath without feeling the urge to answer emails on my phone (and oftentimes, I do).
 
Like you, I have absolutely no idea how to do nothing.
 
But I know I need to learn how to turn off and unplug, even if it’s just for a minute.
 
This episode is the tough love that we all need. And it won’t require you to take a week off from work or be somebody who meditates all day. 
 
We’re going to talk about how to create moments of peace in your daily life, no matter how complicated it may seem right now.
 
So whether you’re on vacation, studying for exams, running your own company, raising a family, or you’re in between three jobs, this episode is for all of us. And it’s one you deserve.
 
Xo Mel 
 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 
0:12: The only thing you should do this week – and why
10:02: How to remain hopeful when you’re in the trenches and surrounded by high achievers
13:19: The only advice you should be following
15:41: Should you listen to people who don’t understand your life?
17:36: How I handle jealousy
19:25: How to make time for rest when it feels like a guilty pleasure
24:00: How to get out of your head and into the moment
26:40: What you and I will do at 2:13 pm every day
33:29: The difference between laziness and procrastination (and how it applies to you)
 
For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

There Is Only One Thing You Should Do This Week

I’m checking in on you and me. There's a lot going on in the world right now, and I am still reeling from the news that Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss died from suicide.

If you had to ask me to list the 5 most positive people on the planet, The Rock would be #1, and tWitch would be #2.

Having lost too many friends and people I love to mental health challenges like depression, addiction, trauma, and hopelessness – all of who died from suicide – I’m just so heavy with emotion. 

tWitch was beloved by millions for being Ellen DeGeneres’ executive producer, dance partner, and DJ on her talk show. He was a part of people’s lives 5 days a week, for years. He competed on So You Think You Can Dance and he had one of those million-dollar smiles that just lit up every room he walked into. He is followed by millions of people online who love the adorable dances that he, his wife Allison, and his 3 kids do.

Seeing such a bright light like tWitch go out so suddenly at the age of 40, with 3 beautiful kids, a huge life, and adoring fans around the world…

It just stirred up so much sadness inside of me, and this may be stirring up a lot inside of you. 

You don’t have to know tWitch personally (I didn’t – I am just a fan) to be profoundly impacted by the news of his death.

This may be bringing up experiences of loss from your own life. It may also be reminding you of moments when you were really struggling, which is another reason why I felt the urgency to talk to you today.

And I thought, maybe you’re sad too
Or having a hard time processing how someone who seemed to “have it all” and “so much talent” could come to a point where this could happen.
Or maybe you are going through a tough time yourself.
Or maybe you just need a friend to tell you it’s going to be okay and give you a boost.

So I wanted to connect.

I decided to roll out of bed, get right on the mic, and share what I'm feeling and how I'm thinking about tWitch's death so we can process this together.

Please take 14 minutes to listen to this powerful message.

I share my thoughts about how to process news like this and I also emphasize something tWitch always said:

Be kind.

Today, be kind.

You never know what another person is going through, so be kind.
And always, be kind to yourself.

One thing you can do today is reach out to people you love. You never know what it’s going to mean to someone. If you don’t know what to say, you can share this episode.

And, if you are in pain right now. PLEASE. There’s a difference between wanting to end the pain you feel, and wanting to end your life.

You can end the pain with support and by taking small steps forward every single day. 

It can and it will get better.

Please, if you need help, pick up the phone. You deserve support.

Trained volunteers are standing by to help you. Call the National Suicide Hotline, which is 988 in the US. Different languages are available – click here.

Or, text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line.

Thanks for reading this and listening to this episode. And I just wanted to end by saying, I love you and it means more than you know that you are here.

I Didn’t Expect to Record This: I Want to Talk to You About tWitch’s Death

I’ve lived with ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety for most of my life.

And I’ve spent the last decade immersed in research around how to improve my mental health, but only recently did I realize there was a big missing piece to the puzzle when it came to being happier, more confident, and more present.

That’s taking care of the brain.

Your brain is your problem-solver.
It’s your memory keeper.
It’s a supercomputer.

If the physical health of your brain sucks, it’s like having a beer belly with IBS for a brain.

If you’re really committed to being a happier and healthier person, it's common sense to keep your brain happy and healthy. But…

The science can be complicated and boring.

More serotonin and dopamine would be great… but I zone out when I am looking at all the research.

That’s why I asked one of the leading experts on brain health to be here today. Dr. Daniel Amen has 40 years of experience as a psychiatrist, 12 New York Times bestselling books, and he’s conducted over 200,000 brain scans, all of which back up the simple tactics he’s about to share with you.

Today’s episode is jam-packed with practical information, so you may even want to listen twice. You can make your brain stronger and more resilient. There are specific changes you can make today, including supplements to take, a change to your walking style, a specific breathing technique to reduce anxiety, and more.

Dr. Amen will also share the one powerful question he’s been asking himself every single day that keeps his brain strong.

He also shares a recipe for a delicious mug of “brain healthy hot chocolate.” I’ll drink to that and a little Brain Health 101.

Xo Mel 

You will learn:

1:34: The results of my brain scan – and a huge finding that was discovered in my husband’s brain scan
9:37: A simple 101 on the brain
13:14: The 3 most important habits that have the biggest impact on brain health
15:41: The exact thing to say to yourself first thing in the morning to improve your brain
16:57: The specific two vitamins that are most important for the health of your brain
19:38: The difference between serotonin and dopamine and how to achieve balance between the two
25:08: How to tell if you have low dopamine & how to increase it
28:55: Why strength training is so important for your overall health
30:21: What cortisol is, why it matters, and how to reduce it
32:03: The one specific breathing exercise that Dr. Amen recommends for an anxious mind
36:06: How to calm a busy brain
39:22: The 3 most important words for mental training
41:27: What to do if you feel chronically tired
43:30: The 5 most important foods for brain health
44:21: How to make brain-healthy hot chocolate
47:06: What a psychiatrist of 40 years would never do because it’s bad for your brain

Hacking Dopamine & Simple Ways to Improve Your Brain Health

Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. 

It took me years to understand these truths.

It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”

I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. 

You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get.

Me too.

I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.

I’m refusing to accept three things.

These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.

Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier.

In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and takeaways that you can put to use immediately.

And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.

I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).

Hopefully today’s episode will.

Xo Mel 

Key lessons:

3:12: 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.
4:33: Rule #1 explained
6:02: How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?
9:00: Why some people can’t change.
12:42: I’m embarrassed to tell you this story.
19:49: Rule #2 explained
20:37: Rule #3 explained
21:44: My “6-month rule” for any complainer
32:03: What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making
40:23: The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature

For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

3 Things You Need to Accept About Other People

Have you ever had such a powerful coincidence happen in your life that you think…

This must be a sign.

The person sitting next to you at an event turns out to be part of the team you’re interviewing with next week.

There is a hummingbird outside your apartment window on move-in day, and your grandmother always said she’d come back as one.

You’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, thinking of someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and right at that moment, they text you.

You can’t explain how these things happen, but when they do, they give you goosebumps and make you feel just a little bit more confident and less alone.

I personally love it when this happens. And I’m always on the lookout for signs that my life is moving in the right direction.

Well, what if I told you that you can create more moments like this?

That’s what we’re talking about today.

These moments have a name: they’re called “synchronicities.”

And my guest today is Dr. Tom Myers, a professor who researched and wrote his entire Ph.D. dissertation on the subject.

You’re about to learn simple steps that will train your brain to create more of these impactful synchronicities in your own life, and three powerful reasons why it’s important that you do so.

Today, you and I are hanging out at the intersection of psychology, science, and spirituality.

Wouldn’t it be nice if your life had more of these magical moments?

Looking for signs that you’re on the right path is not some cheesy thing to do; it’s yet another way you can get intentional about training your brain to help you experience life in a whole new way.

I’ll also share a few stories from my life that are not only examples of synchronicity, but they will also give you goosebumps.

I can’t wait to hear your “goosebump” stories, and I hope what you learn from our conversation today will teach you how to create more of them.

Xo Mel 

I talk more about synchronicity, including a powerful story from my life and how to create more of them, in my New York Times bestselling book The High 5 Habit.

For complete show notes, including links to every research study mentioned, see the episode page at melrobbins.com/podcast

Train Your Mind: How & Why the Science of Synchronicity Can Improve Your Life

I was lying in bed one morning, and all of a sudden it hit me…

If I ever want to be truly happy, I have to stop doing THIS.

So do you.

What is this thing we need to stop doing?

I call it the “Campaign of Misery.”  

In the background of your mind, there’s a campaign of misery running on a loop. And until you stop it, you will never experience the happiness, joy and contentment you deserve. 

I promise you - it is there. In the background - talking to you all the time. 

This is the missing piece to true happiness. 

When you remove the campaign of misery, you create room for joy.

I recorded this episode the same morning I had this profound insight.  What you're about to hear is a conversation with me and two friends and colleagues, Amy and Jessie. Pull up a seat at the kitchen table; I want you to hear me unpacking this breakthrough about happiness in real time.

My two friends saw their “campaign of misery” immediately and started describing in detail the ridiculous ways they torture themselves. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod along, and you might even cry a little. We sure did.

Because when you realize how much you rob yourself of the happiness you deserve, it is sad. 

I always say, this isn’t just a listening podcast, it’s a doing podcast. So by the end, there’s something specific I will be asking you to do with us while you listen. 

In three simple steps, you will join us as we put down the sword, grab a book of matches, and pick up the pen to write new default programming into our minds. 

Don’t worry, I’ll explain why you need matches near the end of the episode.

And you’ll be so happy that I did.

You have the power to change the way you think and the way you talk to yourself. You have the power to stop seeing all the reasons your life is hard and teach yourself to see how this could be easier. 

Yes, you can be happy.

You can be content.

But first, you have to stop making yourself miserable. Let’s support one another on this. 

If we fight this battle for happiness together, side-by-side, I am certain we will win.

Xo Mel 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
What happens when you get caught up in your stories
My profound breakthrough around the importance of mindfulness
How to start celebrating yourself right now, no matter your mindset
The 3 incredibly powerful mindset hacks I did with my friends and colleagues, Amy & Jessie

Go deeper:

Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

Morning Pages inspired by Julia Cameron: The Artist’s Way

For complete show notes, click here.

You’ll Never Be Truly Happy Until You Start Doing This

Buckle up and get ready to take notes because this episode is a masterclass.
 
The tools you’re about to learn will help you become more confident, influential, and even make more money.
 
Today, we’re talking about The “It” Factor.
 
Some people just seem to have IT, right?
 
When I think of The It Factor, people like Oprah, The Rock, Taylor Swift, the Dalai Lama, and Martin Luther King, Jr. come to mind.
 
These people make you want to lean in, join in, and learn more.
 
So today we’re asking…
 
What is “It” that some people have that makes us automatically trust and like them?
 
And, more importantly, how can you get it?
 
Here to answer that question is Vanessa Van Edwards, a best-selling author, researcher, and founder of the behavior lab The Science of People.
 
I cannot wait for you to dig into what she has researched.
 
Turns out The It Factor has another name: charisma.
 
And the good news?
 
YOU can learn how to have charisma, starting today.
 
You’re going to want to. Research finds that charismatic people are more influential, earn a higher income, and have a bigger impact at work, in their communities, and in their relationships.
 
The secret to hacking it? Social cues, like body language and the way you speak.
 
That’s why today’s episode is a masterclass.
 
You’ll learn… 
Shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up
3 things you must do in the first 10 seconds of a Zoom call
Tips for nailing an interview
The major mistake you’re making as you speak
How to ask for a raise
A simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you are
Why you never want to fake a smile
Tips for charisma for introverts
Why a second impression is as important as the first
 
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Today’s episode is jam-packed with simple, tactical research and tools that will help you and anyone you care about develop the skill of charisma.
 
And you deserve that. 
 
Xo Mel 
 
Join the free 5-day Wake Up Challenge with me and master your morning routine here.
 
All show notes for this episode can be found at melrobbins.com/podcast

Check out the video version of this podcast on my YouTube channel here.

The “It” Factor: How to Hack Charisma & Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence, Income, and Impact

Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation.
 
Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself.
 
I understand why it’s confusing. 
 
The topic of self-love is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself.
 
So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley.
 
This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love. 
 
When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew.
 
And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything.
 
You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it.
 
I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts.
 
You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more.
 
This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting advice from an adult.
 
I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely.
 
And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself.
 
I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better.
 
I cannot wait to hear what you learn.
 

Xo Mel 
 

For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

How Do I Learn to Love Myself, Really?

I want you to get serious about inserting fun back into the holidays this year.
 
It might seem odd to have an entire conversation about fun. But here’s why we have to: most of us aren’t having any.
 
In fact, it’s gotten so bad that researchers have a term for it: “a fun drought.” You’re not alone – 97% of people want to have more fun.
 
And wouldn’t it be fabulous if you had an absolute blast with your family this holiday season?
 
It is possible. And you’re just the person to make it happen.
 
On the topic of family, I find it interesting that most of the advice out there is focused on toxic family dynamics and boundaries. If your family is that toxic, the only thing you need to do is make other plans. You’re not required to spend time with them.
 
But… if you are planning to spend time with family during the holidays, make this the year you bring the fun.
 
Fun breaks up old dynamics, fun draws people out of their shells, and fun gives you something to talk about other than the weather and how the school year is going.
 
And laughter is not only great medicine, but it also makes you happier and strengthens your relationships with those you’re having fun with!
 
Today you and I are getting serious about fun.
 
In this episode, you’re going to learn the 3 things that get in the way of you having fun – the biggest one being that you don’t plan for it.
 
So, we are going to discuss how to plan for and have more fun, and I’ll give you all kinds of ideas to consider.
 
This is the perfect episode to listen to with your family if you’re traveling. It’s appropriate for all ages.
 
So shake off the dread and pull out the party hats. I’m on a mission to inspire you to have more fun.
 
Xo Mel
 
For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

How to Have More Fun: A Guide to Enjoying the Holidays

I used simple research from Harvard Business School and UCLA to tame my fear of public speaking and become one of the most successful keynote speakers in the world.
 
I used this same tool to overcome my fear of flying.
 
If nerves or fear are holding you back from applying for that promotion, asking someone on a date, speaking up at a meeting, or traveling to another part of the world, this brain hack will change your life.
 
Your fears make your life small. Your nerves limit your potential. Your anxiety robs you of happiness and confidence.
 
Today on the podcast, you’ll hear me coach someone through one of her biggest fears.
 
You’ll hear the hilarious ways I used to cope with my fears and you’ll also learn why telling someone to calm down never works.
 
You’ll leave this episode with a 4-step tool that you can apply to your life the moment you learn it.
 
Stop letting your fear make your life small.
 
Board that plane, step onto that stage, apply for that promotion, and never let your nerves stop you from living your life the way that you want to again.
 
And please, share this episode not only with people you love, but particularly with all the young adults in your life, because research shows that this tool not only helps you tame your anxiety – it also helps you perform better on tests, be a better athlete, and compete at a higher level in academic competitions.
 
Xo Mel 

For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

The Secret to Stopping Fear & Anxiety (That Actually Works)

What if you could show up in any relationship feeling secure, exactly as you are?
 
You didn’t have to overthink every text you sent. 
 
You wouldn’t have to play the dating games.
 
If somebody ghosted you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. 
 
Well I’m here to tell you today that you CAN be that person. 
 
Meet the phenomenal Dr. Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of “Platonic” and expert on attachment theory.
 
Today, we’re shining a light on your attachment style.
 
What is an attachment style?
 
Simple. It’s a framework backed by decades of research that will help you understand how you show up in relationships.
 
There are 4 attachment styles, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you default to one of them.
 
If you have a hard time setting boundaries with family members…
 
If you keep dating the same kind of people… 
 
If you cling to relationships that have long expired…
 
Or if you’ve never been able to connect with someone on a deeply emotional level.
 
Blame your attachment style.
 
And here’s the good news: when you understand attachment theory, you can change your default attachment style and become more secure, which leads to happier and healthier relationships.
 
You deserve that, which is why this episode is for you.
 
Today, Dr. Franco breaks down the 4 attachment styles that make or break your relationships, AND the powerful tools you can use to improve them. 
 
Once you understand your attachment style, you’ll have a lens through which to improve absolutely every relationship, especially the one you have with yourself. 
 
Because at the deepest level, becoming more secure is about allowing love in.
 
Xo Mel 

PS: One way to let more love in is to get in touch with your big dreams. Let me help you with a free journal guide: melrobbins.com/dreambig
 
For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

How to Improve Any Relationship: The 4 Attachment Styles You Need to Know & Tools to Become More Secure

According to neuroscience research, there are four major mistakes you make when it comes to manifesting.
 
Done correctly, manifesting is a mindset tool that elite athletes and the world’s most successful people use to perform at the highest levels and achieve remarkable goals.
 
Today, I’ll reveal those mistakes and more importantly, teach you how to manifest the right way.
 
This episode is all about the HOW.
 
If you love takeaways and tools, you’ll eat this up.
 
Today I’ll lay it all out for you, step by step.
 
You’ll learn the 4 things you need to do every day if you’re serious about achieving your goals and dreams.
 
So wherever you stand on the topic of manifesting, this episode is a masterclass in both the science and art of doing it.
 
For all my cynics and skeptics, this isn’t what you think it is. This is tactical and based in research.
 
And if you already love vision boards, you’re probably going to have to rip yours up and create a new one once you learn the research related to what works and what doesn’t when it comes to visualization.
 
I promise you are not going to want to miss this one.
 
Xo Mel

To get the free download mentioned in the episode that helps you get in touch with your dreams, go to MelRobbins.com/dreambig
 
For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

How to Manifest Anything You Want: 4 Simple Steps Backed by Neuroscience & Olympic Athletes

THIS is the pep talk you need to hear right now.
 
I’m showing up with a level of intensity in a way you’ve never heard me before.
 
We are talking about you and your big dreams.
 
No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them.
 
If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today.
 
If you’re done with feeling like you’re doing the same sh*t day in and day out…
 
If you’re tired of your excuses…
 
Or if you're like Barbara, who you will meet in this episode, and you have given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet…
 
This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life.
 
There is a flame inside of you that is still flickering.
 
Today, we are going to throw gasoline on and reignite that fire.
 
You’re ready for this today. I know you are.
 
And more than any other episode, I can't wait to hear how you’re feeling and what you’re doing after you listen to this one.
 
Xo Mel 
 
P.S. A lot of you keep asking how you can motivate the people that you love – your kids, spouses, family members, colleagues. Just share this episode with them and I’ll take care of it.
 
P.P.S. When you’re done listening, you’re going to feel like you’ve been shot out of a cannon and want to know how to level up. A great way to start is jumping into The Wake Up Challenge so I can support you in getting your mornings off to a great start for five days in a row, which is exactly the kind of structure you’re going to need to get started on your dreams.

Your Dreams Are Not a Joke: It’s Time to Dream Big Again & 3 Ways to Get Started

This is the inspiration and wisdom you need to hear today.
 
It’s been quite a week and it’s only Monday.
 
I woke up yesterday and was so sick, I had to cancel some really important work and personal commitments.
 
Cue: the disappointment, the anxiety of upsetting others, and my own sadness that life was not going as I had planned.
 
This is one of those episodes that I recorded for myself and for you. Even when things are really upsetting, you still have the power to face them and take control.
 
Join me in learning one simple, powerful tool. I’ll not only explain it – I’ll also have you practice it with me.
 
I already feel better, and so will you.
 
Xo Mel

The Power of a Pause: Do This When Life Disappoints You

How do I know if I’m in a relationship with a narcissist?
Are certain personalities more drawn to narcissists?
Can I heal if I was raised by a narcissist?
How do I handle narcissists at work?
Why do I keep attracting narcissists into my life?
How can I keep a narcissist in my life… and not go crazy?
 
And, most of all:
 
What EXACTLY do I do to cope with narcissists?
 
You have been flooding my inbox with questions since Dr. Ramani Durvasula, the world’s leading expert on narcissism, spoke about it on the podcast.
 
You asked to bring her back and I’m listening: Dr. Ramani is here with answers to all of your questions.
 
This episode is for you if you…


Have no idea what narcissism is
Were raised by a narcissist
Are married to a narcissist
Think you might be dating a narcissist
Work with/for a narcissist 
Want to know the telltale red flags so you’re better prepared
Are afraid you’re a narcissist
 
Today you get:


Two important tools to help you start your own healing and create boundaries
Key takeaways to help you move forward
One solid truth that will ground you in your confidence 
 
You’ll also learn:


What you can do today to begin your own healing
How to stay in a relationship with a narcissist and maintain your sanity
The signs to watch for to know if you’re with a narcissist
What gaslighting looks like in real life
The situations that make you more susceptible
How to coach your friend who’s dating a narcissist
If you’re more prone to attracting narcissists
Why you ditch the “good ones” for the “bad ones”
About “trauma bonds” 
The signs of “love bombing”
About the “Golden Goose” phenomenon in the workplace
What yellow rocking and gray rocking are
 
Listen in on today’s conversation. You will not only be glad you did – you’ll also leave armed with the knowledge, tools, and resources you need to diffuse the impact of a narcissist, get your power back, and know that whatever it is that this person says or does – it’s not your fault.
 
Xo, Mel 
 
PS: Once you’re done with this one, if you haven’t had a chance to listen to Dr. Ramani’s first appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, absolutely spend some time listening to it:  “5 Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist & How To Protect Yourself”

2 Secrets to Handling a Narcissist: A Toolkit for Dealing With Toxic Behavior at Work, Dating, Marriage, and Family (With World-Renowned Dr. Ramani)

A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult.
 
This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about.
 
From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade?
 
This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering…
Where did all my friends go?
 
I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore.
 
Let’s fix that.
 
I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic.
 
What I discovered is both comforting and empowering. I can’t wait to share it with you.
 
I can boil all of this research down to the 5 lies you and I tell ourselves about friendship.
 
These lies are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life.
 
That’s why you need to hear them.
 
So did I.
 
You also need to hear the truth bombs I’m dropping and the smarty pants research I found to back it all up.
 
Because once you stop repeating these lies, your life will open up again.
 
You’ll have an easier time finding, making, and strengthening your relationships with friends. 
 
And most importantly, your friendships will align with who you really are and what you really want in this chapter of your life.
 
Today it’s just you and me, friend to friend, figuring sh*t out together.
 
So let’s go.
 
Xo Mel

Why Is Adult Friendship So Hard? 5 Lies You Tell Yourself & the Truth You Need to Hear

Today’s conversation is required listening for everyone.

We are going to blow the lid off of emotional triggers.

Let’s get to the bottom of why you and I react the way we do, and more importantly, learn simple ways to take control of our emotions.

It doesn’t matter where you live, how you grew up, or even if you’re a freakin’ saint to everyone else, I know you have something that triggers you.

You have days just like I do when something sets you off and you either snap like a firecracker or withdraw like a turtle in a shell.

And just like me, you say and do things you later regret.

I’ll go first: I’m trying hard to work on the nasty tone of voice I use with Chris and our kids when I feel frustrated or confronted.

And it doesn’t end there. If you’re like me, you beat yourself up for getting triggered, and you now start feeling bad and regret what you did (or the fact that you did nothing).

It makes me feel like crap when I do these things. I have felt helpless for a long time because it’s been so automatic when I get triggered emotionally. 

I don’t want to keep living like this. I’d like to feel calm, peaceful, and more in control.

And that’s what this episode is about. 

Wouldn’t you love to get out of this cycle of feeling emotionally triggered? Wouldn’t you love to take control of your emotional life as an adult?

The good news: you can rewire your response to stressful and annoying situations.

And in turn, you’ll bring more happiness, presence, control, and closer relationships into your life, because you’ll be present in them instead of letting your emotions drive you. 

So, who is going to teach us about triggers?

I’ve tracked down a psychologist who teaches one of the most popular online workshops about this topic:

The incredible Dr. Becky Kennedy.

She’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside. And do not let the fact that she is a child psychologist and parenting expert keep you from soaking up and applying everything you can learn from her.

No matter how old you are right now, YOU were once a child. And that, my friend, is where your triggers got hardwired inside of you: before you even knew how to talk.

Understanding triggers (and taming them) requires you to go back before you can move forward.

Dr. Becky says, “Your triggers are stories from your past.”

Listen to this episode and really try to absorb what Dr. Becky shares, because the wiring and triggers that frustrate you right now are not permanent.

I know you’re going to send this to every one of your friends who is a parent, and please send it to your kids, nieces, and nephews, too. 

Learning how to rewire my response to stress at 54 is amazing. But imagine if you knew how to do this in high school. That’s why I’ve asked our three kids – ages 23, 22, and 17 – to listen too. Sure, it would be nice for us to pass this healing and confidence-building stuff down to every generation, right? If they get this information now, they can rewire themselves faster.

This is really important, life-changing stuff. And I love that it’s also so simple. And you know what else I love? You. Thank you for listening and let me know what you learn.

Xo, Mel

PS: Want to go deeper?

For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

One thing that helped me gain control is taking control of my mornings. If you haven’t checked out my free 5-day Wakeup Challenge, let me support you in getting going and creating a better morning. Sign up here.

Why Am I So Triggered? 3 Steps to Control Your Emotions & Rewire Your Response to Stress

You know those days when you just feel “off”? Well, last week, both my friend Amy and I were having bad days.

Thankfully, I had just had an appointment with my amazing therapist that morning.

So, as Amy and I started to talk about why we didn’t “feel like ourselves,” I got this crazy idea that maybe we should invite YOU to join us as the conversation started to unfold.

We decided to turn on a recording device and unpack how we were feeling – on the fly.

I need to say: I stole everything you’re about to hear from my therapist Anne, and you should steal it too.

This is way more than just learning how to put on a happy face.

These tools are truly transformational because they help you tap back into the incredible power within you.

This is a very intimate and special episode that unfolds live.

So I’m inviting you right now: pull up a seat at the kitchen table with Amy and me.

Join us. Don’t just listen, but close your eyes and do the exercises with us.

Do not miss out on what happens near the end. It is magical and I certainly did not see it coming.

And I know you’re going to want to see the cowboy boots: don’t worry, they are in the show notes on my website here.

Xo Mel

Steal This From My Therapist: 2 Steps to Flip a Bad Day Into an Amazing One

Narcissism is on the rise and you need to learn how to spot it in other people and have tools to protect yourself.

We all know those people who constantly turn a conversation toward themselves, who only call you when they want something, and who have a way of making everything someone else’s fault.

Well, guess what? Turns out narcissism goes far beyond that.

I’m telling you right now, even if you THINK you know what a narcissist is, you need to listen.

I thought I knew, yet I’m still reeling from all my breakthrough moments.

Do you have a narcissist in your life?

Maybe you grew up with one.

Maybe you work with one.

Maybe you married one.

Maybe you don’t know what the hell a narcissist is!

Pull up a seat at the table with me because class is IN session.

Narcissism is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, so how do you know if you’re *really* dealing with a narcissist?

You have been blowing up my email and DMs about this topic, so Dr. Ramani Durvasula is here to answer your questions.

She’s the world’s leading expert on narcissism and someone I’ve followed and admired for years. I love how she breaks down the topic of narcissism in a way that’s understandable, simple, and packed with tools you can apply the second you learn them.

Listen in as she shines a light on the REAL definition of a narcissist and the 5 warning signs you need to know if you’re dealing with one.

This topic is so juicy – and so surprising – that you’re going to be shocked by what you learn. One part in particular will change how you approach narcissists in your life from this day forward.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I have somebody in my life, a very prominent somebody, who absolutely displays narcissistic tendencies, and I have spent years in therapy dealing with it. So I actually got out of my chair and hugged Dr. Ramani after everything she taught me and you in this amazing episode!

If you get something out of this episode, or if you have a friend that has struggled with a narcissist in their life, please share this with them.

And if you think a person is a narcissist, don't even bother sharing, because if there's one thing you're going to learn: you don't want to EVER call one out…

That's just one of the many rules you're going to learn to follow in order to protect yourself from narcissistic behavior.

This episode is jam-packed with teachable moments that will leave you seeing the narcissists in your life with 20-20 insight.

You’ll learn how to not only deal with them but also end this episode with the tools to heal.

And that, my friend, could be the takeaway that changes your life forever.

Xo Mel

For full show notes, visit www.melrobbins.com

5 Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist & How to Protect Yourself

How do you know if the thing you’re holding on to is something you should keep fighting for or if it’s time to let go? 
 
Phenomenal question. I’ve got the answer. 
 
The truth is, most of us never let go. 
 
You spend a lot of time adding things into your life – new projects, new relationships, new stuff – but when was the last time you *subtracted* something?
 
I’m talking about all the things you hang on to, even when they’re no longer serving you or helping you grow.
 
The stuff that you know is weighing you down and sucking your energy dry, but you can’t seem to drop it. 
 
I’ve got the solution for you.
 
I’m about to walk you – literally – through a strategy that nobody talks about. It will help you let go of what’s a pain or a drain in your life. 
 
Are you staying in a job you hate?
 
Do you keep hanging out with that friend who brings you down?
 
Holding on to those too-small pants because you’re hoping to one day fit into them again?
 
As the late, great Pulitzer and Nobel prize winner Toni Morrison wrote, if you “want to fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
 
By the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to start letting go of what doesn’t serve you to create room for growth.
 
And, you’ll learn the two things you must let go of today.
 
Get ready to step into your new potential and unlock the magic of your life.
 
Aren’t you ready for that? I know I am. Let’s do it!
 
Xo Mel

For full show notes, visit www.melrobbins.com

How to Let Go: 2 Simple Ways to Find Clarity & Move On

Everything you think about anxiety is wrong.
 
Yes, we’re starting there.
 
And yes, we’re going deep.
 
I know that this episode will change your life. It has done the same for mine.
 
It’s not a secret that I’ve struggled with anxiety for pretty much my whole life. I swear I came out of the womb in a full-blown panic attack, and I was just warming up for a life of worry on a very elite, professional level.
 
I have been sharing my anxiety journey, and the tools that have helped me, for the past five years. 
 
And in this episode, things go deeper than they have ever have before.
 
No exaggeration when I say that my takeaway from this interview today is so revolutionary, it’s forever changed the way I think about my anxiety and my relationship to it.
 
Which is why it’s my honor to introduce you to Dr. Russell Kennedy, MD.
 
I’m willing to bet that what you learn today you haven’t heard yet.
 
Like the real reason you’re anxious in the first place.
 
It’s not what you’re thinking.
 
No lie, I’ve been stalking Dr. Kennedy on Instagram for the past year because I just love his stuff. 
 
Like me, he’s lived with his own anxiety since childhood. As a neuroscientist and a medical doctor, he also has the clinical experience to teach us how to HEAL our anxiety.
 
Did you catch that?
 
You don’t have to stop at managing your anxiety; you can actually heal it. 
 
I see you if you’re living with a constant “nervous stomach.”
 
I see you if you can’t sleep. 
 
I see you if your heart races and your muscles are often tense.
 
What Dr. Kennedy shares with you today has changed my relationship to anxiety, and I know it can do the same for you. 
 
It will blow your mind when Dr. Kennedy tells you that we’ve been attacking this all wrong, and he’ll give you simple science and research-backed tools that will change your life immediately! 
 
I ask all the questions you are thinking about anxiety and Dr. Kennedy and I get real with the answers.
 
You are not only going to learn how to deal with your anxiety in a very simple but effective way, you are going to learn why it’s there, what it’s trying to tell you, and how to heal it for good. 
 
This episode has changed my life and I know it will do the same for you and your loved ones. Bookmark this episode and share it with those in your life who need it.
 
It’s time. You deserve what you’re about to learn. 
 
Xo Mel
 
For full show notes, visit www.melrobbins.com

The Truth About Anxiety and How To Heal It: Tools for Anxiety From a Neuroscientist MD

The biggest secret to getting the life you want is understanding 3 words I hope you never forget:
 
Motivation. Is. Garbage.
 
Right now, think about something you want to change or improve.
 
I bet you know WHAT you want to change – and what you need to do.
 
But the 100 million dollar question is: HOW?
 
How do you get started? 
 
And how do you keep going even when you don’t feel like it?
 
Look, if change was easy, we’d all have six-pack abs, a million dollars in the bank, and healed our trauma.
 
And that’s where this episode comes in: I teach you the HOW.
 
I cracked the code on motivation, and in the next hour, I’m sharing everything I know with you. 
 
You’ll learn the secret to breaking old habits, creating new ones, and how to hack what neuroscientists call “activation energy.”
 
You’ll also learn one simple but incredible tool, that’s grounded in decades of research, and will change your life forever. This tool is a “cheat code” for motivation. It’s worked for millions of people and it will for you, too.
 
I wish that what I was about to tell you was something I had read in a book, but unfortunately, that's not how I tend to learn things.
 
I'm the kind of person who either has to fall into a hole that I didn't see to learn a lesson, or more likely, I screw up my life so badly, I dig the hole for myself. 
 
This was me back in 2008. I was digging the biggest life hole ever. And that’s where this episode begins. 
 
I was at the lowest point in my life. My husband’s business was failing, I was unemployed, on the brink of bankruptcy and divorce, I was drinking way too much, and to top it all off, I couldn’t even get up in the morning. Not the Mel Robbins you know today.
 
This is the exact moment I discovered the secret to hacking motivation – because I had to if I wanted to fix my own life. 
 
And if I can do it, you can too.
 
If you're a new listener, you'll learn more about how I got to where I am today. 
 
And if you've been a fan for a while, this episode will be a reminder of the power within you to make any change you can imagine.
 
At the end of the episode, I’ll also give you a free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup
 
You won’t believe how simple it is to transform your life, your work, and your attitude. I can’t wait to show you how.
 
Xo Mel

Motivation Is Garbage

How do you find your power when life knocks you down? 
 
What do you do when you are in the middle of an emotional tsunami? 
 
How do you respond when the universe is testing you? 
 
This is the ultimate episode about resilience, confidence, and taking your power back. 
 
Yes, you can take control with simple tools whenever you feel that insecurity spiral kick in. You can pick yourself up, shake off the sh*t, and you can make it a win for you.
 
In this episode, I take you into my life as my 22-year-old daughter gets news that sent her spiraling: her ex was now interested in one of her friends.  
 
This episode unfolds live, over the phone, in real-time, and it is about way more than dealing with heartbreak. 
 
This is for everyone, including you.
 
This is about how you can make those moments of insecurity a win. It’s about finding your confidence when self-doubt comes in. It’s about getting your power back. 
 
And this is also about how you can make better decisions. How to align your actions and reactions with what you want out of life, rather than letting your emotions hijack you.
 
This is powerful stuff. 
 
During this deeply relatable conversation, you’ll laugh, nod along, and probably think of a dozen friends who need to hear this too. My daughter and I unpack the situation live, and you’ll hear Kendall process her feelings, rise above the noise, tap into her power, and start coaching herself forward from a place of confidence and clarity.  
 
Honestly, as her mother, I’m incredibly proud of what she shares in this episode.
 
I want you to listen because I want you to feel empowered too. 
 
In one hour, you will learn how to turn hurt feelings into a WIN for you. You’ll hear the best advice I’ve ever received when life knocked me down, and how you can use it to make your life and your attitude 10X better. 
 
You’ll understand how to break old patterns of self-sabotage and kick them to the curb for good.
 
Holy sh*t…I almost forgot! There is swearing in this episode! If you have any kids around, put those headphones on!
 
And seriously: for anyone in your life struggling with insecurity, do them a favor and remind them of who they are. Send them this episode so they can take their power back.
 
Xo Mel

2 Ways to Take Your Power Back When You Feel Insecure

You can change your life. Period.
 
My mission in this episode is to remind you of who you are and help you tap into the power inside of you. I want you to see something bigger for your life this year. I want to empower you with 3 simple steps you can take to make that vision a reality. 
 
In this episode, you will learn the 3 steps I used to reinvent every aspect of my life over the past two years. I strengthened my relationships, changed my business, improved my mental health, and heck, I even changed where I lived (after 26 years)! I will walk you, step by step, through the story and the process. 
 
I will share how I went from feeling stuck, lost, and overwhelmed two years ago to where I am today: happier than I’ve been in a long time, making big things happen, and having a ball.
 
If I can do it, you can do it. 
 
I’ll walk you through what I did and how I did it. By the end of the episode, you’ll not only feel motivated to improve your life, but you’ll also know the steps to take and HOW to make it happen. And I will make sure you know that you, in fact, deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Yes, YOU.
 
You’ll also hear an amazing and inspiring story from one woman who used these 3 steps to save her life and then, over the past year, take the actions to improve her life and become happier, more confident, and empowered.
 
All of this is here to inspire and empower you to use these same simple steps to create profound change in your life, too.
 
You’ll also learn interesting research about tapping into intrinsic motivation, temporal landmarks, and thinking bigger about your life and the future, using “The Fresh Start Effect” to unlock the confidence to kick your rear end when you need to. 
 
This episode is packed with stories, science, tools, and the motivational fire power you deserve. I am on a mission to remind you of who you are and the power you have inside yourself to change your life.
 
Change is possible. And you can’t convince me otherwise. YOU have the power to change your life through the actions you take every single day. YOU deserve to be happy. 
 
And in case no one tells you today, I love you and I believe in your ability to change your life. Now go get ‘em. ❤️

3 Simple Steps to Change Your Life

Mel Robbins has spent the last 10 years helping millions of people change their lives.  In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel shares the relatable stories and science-backed tools she’s built her career around to inspire, motivate, and empower you to create a better life. Starting October 6th, Mel is here for you twice a week with new episodes every Monday and Thursday.

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Mel Robbins - melrobbins.com

Latest episode: Thu Jan 26 2023