How to Feel Truly Loved (with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Harry Reis)

Most of us have people in our lives who love us — partners, friends, family — yet many of us still don’t feel as loved as we want to. Why is there such a gap between being loved and feeling loved? And what can we actually do about it?

Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologists Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Harry Reis, co-authors of Howto Feel Loved, to unpack the science behind this disconnect. They explain why feeling loved so often eludes us — even in close relationships — and share research-backed insights that can help us change the conversation, strengthen our connections, and feel more loved both now and in the relationships we build in the future.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Howto Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most

"Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community"

"SocialTies and Susceptibility to the Common Cold"

"TowardUnderstanding Understanding: The Importance of Feeling Understood in Relationships"

"Howto Get Through Hard Times: Principals' Listening Buffers Teachers' Stress on Turnover Intention and Promotes Organizational Citizenship Behavior"

Howto Win Friends and Influence People

Howto Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls

"Self-ExpansionTheory: Origins, Current Evidence, and Future Horizons"

"DoUnto Others or Treat Yourself? The Effects of Prosocial and Self-Focused Behavior on Psychological Flourishing"

"EverydayProsociality in the Workplace: The Reinforcing Benefits of Giving, Getting, and Glimpsing"

"KindnessCounts: Prompting Prosocial Behavior in Preadolescents Boosts Peer Acceptance and Well-Being"

"TheGenomic Impact of Kindness to Self vs. Others: A Randomized Controlled Trial"

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