BS Disclaimers, Invisible Armies, and the Importance of the Words We Choose

The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant

Vox Media Podcast Network

May 7, 2026

Show Notes

Brené and Adam discuss the power — and peril — of the words we choose. They dive into two Machiavellian communication tools that often do more harm than good: the "Invisible Army" and "BS Disclaimers". Brené explains why leading with “we” or “but” often comes across as requesting permission to escape accountability, which ultimately sacrifices trust more than anything. Adam explores how these tools can sometimes serve as survival strategies in toxic cultures, leading to a conversation on psychological safety, groupthink, and why precision of language is more important than ever — especially in a world that still judges based on gender and identity.

You can find The Curiosity Shop on ⁠YouTube⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ (@thecuriosityshop).

0:00 - Introduction

1:10 - The Invisible Army

- Speaking Up and Pluribus

- ‘But’ or Escaping Accountability?

- Responsibility Versus Accountability

- Judgment Based on Gender and Identity

- Takeaways From Today’s Episode

Armored Versus Daring Leadership, Part 2 of 2 - Brené Brown, 2021,Dare to Lead (Podcast)

Gettingcredit for proactive behavior: Supervisor reactions depend on what you value and how you feel - Grant et al., 2009,Personnel Psychology

Plur1bus - Gilligan et al., 2025- Present, Sony Pictures; Apple TV+ (TV series)

Does Performance Improve Following Multisource Feedback? A Theoretical Model, Meta-Analysis, and Review of Empirical Findings - Smither et al., 2005,Personnel Psychology